Since you left this world

Since you left this world, it is becoming a sadder place to live. No day is passing without me thinking what I could have done to stop you from walking away. I just wish I could go back to the day you decided to go. Let me convince you, let me tell you that this place is never been as beautiful, without you.. the huge empty space impossible to be filled by anyone or anything.

The grief is so heavy that it draws the cloud into darker shade. The grief that turns the cloud into water that falls. The grief that guides the flow to the river, where it dissolves. No matter how long it goes, this wretchedness would never be washed away. Too much lamentation to be left unerased and unsounded.. the mist of torment that lingers, I cannot breathe. How I wish I could be there where you were, just to be there with your decision... and do anything I can to freeze the time. You should've let me try.

*a poem for Chester Bennington who took a piece of my heart with him when he went away