20150627

Love is never selfish

Have you ever felt like this world is giving you its bestest support that makes you feel positive and powerful?
If you feel it now, embrace it because there will be times when you just feel like a total shit and powerless.. like there is this huge mountain in front of you and you cannot do anything to jump it off. One thing that can do both is LOVE. Love can give you all the positivity and negativity in the same time.

Do you know how it feels to be extremely fixated to something, you are near from it, yet you cannot touch it. All you can do is just enjoying the moment until that thing passing by. It does not stay in one place. It jumps from one place to another place at its own speed and will. Yet, some people are lucky to be able to catch it and make the moment eternal, but some others are not. It empowers and makes you vulnarable at the same time because you are opening yourself, exposing yourself into this foreign object that has its own will. See how all of these soon becoming a massacre of hearts? People are vulnerable... it is almost like the attack of a virus. Almost.

I also think about cat and goldfish situation. You know cat wants to touch goldfish... maybe out of love or out of hunger... The thing is, once the cat took the goldfish out of its waterbowl, the fish will be out of breath and it can cause death too. Will the cat embrace the moment and enjoy the time with the goldfish? Or will it be selfish and take the goldfish out of the bowl so that they can be together but it costs the fish' death within minutes?

If you love someone, you draw yourself closer to that person you love and you tend to want to seal the moment into an absurd bubble of foreverness... if you are a cat and you are lucky enough to find another cat.. and that cat loves you back, then it is a jackpot for you. If not, it's gonnabe the whole cat and goldfish situation all over again.

The cat who chooses to take out the goldfish out of the waterbowl is not a Love Warrior. For me it is a complete act of selfishness. You preserve what you love instead of breaking it into pieces. You give the best, not bring sorrow. Your happiness is not the only consideration here.

I am not like that. I love you and I want to be with you more than anything. But if you were with me, you won't be able to breathe, you will be suffocated and then you will die unhappily. Therefore, I will let you live in your bowl until the Owner moves you to a bigger aquarium and gives more fish friends for you... or the Owner moves me to live with other cats. Until then, we can talk, make jokes from our own places. It's not like I don't want to fight for this love, I just think "If my love breaks you, hurts you, drags you down into mud, beats you, seperates you from your normality and kills you, then by all means... I will just reserve this beauty in my memory, because this love is never selfish. I will keep you as long as possible at the heart and feel gratitude that we ever crossed path."

*hugs
Jingga

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