두산 베어스 #31한테 늦은 고백 ♥ Confession for Doosan Bears #31

Out of the blue.. a friend looked at my phone wallpaper and asked me merciless-ly, “Why do you like him? He is not even handsome.”

From that question I want to untie all the things about him in my head. Why is it?

His name is Jung Soobin. He is my favorite baseball player from Korea. He turned 23 this year and now he plays for Doosan Bears, a baseball team located in Seoul.

In appearance, without his uniform he will look exactly like common university student who wear t-shirt or front button checkered shirt with an MLB hat and jeans pants. Nothing flashy stuffs like expensive bag or shoes or whatever. He really doesn’t look like a young man who makes more than 10 thousands dollars a year. I could be wrong about his transfer value, the point is that he is someone who plays at Korean series baseball. He is famous among baseball fans in Korea. 

When I start liking Doosan Bears, he was not even the first player that I know. When I saw him the first time, he was walking across the field near my seat and I just thought he is such a young player (he was probably 21 at that time but he looked 17-ish, lol). I even took picture of him (my first baseball photos ever). Soon I learned who he is by looking at his position at the field. After a few games that I went to, I like him more and more. When I have my proper camera, I took a lot of his pictures candidly at the field and I always smiled at the results. He is such a happy person, infield or outfield and he is a shy person. A really shy one. 

If people ask me, why do I like him out of other players who are more mature and handsome than him? I always smiled at the questioner and shook my head. I don’t know why. Maybe because he is cute and he is a lot younger that makes me want to treat him like a little dongsaeng? I don’t know. I like him without particular reasons, until yesterday a close friend sent me my picture that I edited to match Soobin’s picture (posted at his cyworld). That picture was a photo when Soobin ate meat at samgyopsal place, kinda and I found out that I have exactly the same style of photo so I put them together as if we were in the same place eating together. It was so pathetic but looking at that picture makes me happy. Hahaha.. Then my friend said that I look good together (with him). Thissss… hahahaha.. I never even dare to think I stand a chance. I swear I never dream to be that someone for him. I have this respect for him, although he is a lot younger than me. This sudden message totally made my day, and I slept happily last night. Hope floats, okay! LOL How come everything that comes up with his name always bring me happiness and draws smiles on my face? It is just me, totally me~

This morning, I told my friend more about him. I found out that there are new discoveries that I happened to grab when I tell the story of him.

This is how I explain to my friend about who Jung Soobin is:

He is my 이상형 (read: ee-sang-hyeong, means: ideal type, Korean language). He is exactly the type of guy that I want to marry one day, except that he is a lot younger than me. I learned a lot about him by seeing him on the field, reading articles about him, besides I also had two direct interactions with him via internet (facebook message and cyworld message). For me, that is enough to figure what kind of person he is. Starting from the facebook message that I got, it happened a year ago when out of the blue he started to make a facebook account and accepting friendship applications from people. I was lucky that he accepts mine too. Out of exploding enthusiasm, I messaged him telling that I support him and stuffs like that, also I stupidly asked him how to send presents to him and shamelessly at the end of the message I said I love you. OTL. Oh my God… you can see where my over-enthusiasm lead me most of the time. Yes, DOOM. Within one day I got a reply. Very short one but it leaves such a huge understanding.

If I may translate, this message said:
You come at last Bears gathering (event), right?^^
I have accepted your presents^^
Thank you for always supporting me ^^

I was blown away to cloud 9 at that time. I lost words, I felt like my chest blew off and it was like a dream coming true. He is real. Only 3 sentences, short ones, yet they opened a huge door of understanding about what kind of person Soobin is. He remembered me coming to his row at Doosan Bears fanmeeting on 2011. As far as my memory could bring me, it brings me to a scene with Soobin’s pupils got bigger in astonishment which I am sure it was because I am not even Korean but how could I be there, in his row asking for his autograph. For your information, in fanmeeting if you want to get players’ signs, you must stand in line from 4 am in the morning because each group will only give 100 fansign tickets. I was there with a friend and indeed we were in line from 3.30 in the morning. Amazing, right? Each group consists of 4 players and there were about 4-5 groups. I chose Soobin’s row of course, although in fact I already have a ball with his sign given by an Oppa I know at the field. Besides, it was also because at that time I have prepared gifts for him, a Russian shirt (I have one exactly the same with smaller size), a can of candy, a Tablo CD (his first solo album) and maybe an Indonesia postcard with my own writing and a photo of him that I took. All gathered in a bag and guess what? I was so out of my sanity that I even forgot to hand it to him directly when I was in front of him asking for signatures. Another regret was why did not I look at his eyes longer as it was really my last time seeing him because my study term was finished which means I have to go back for good, to my beloved country? I was too nervous taking care of 2 balls that he must sign (one for that friend, one for me) and two photos that he must signs (which one of them he managed to write my name on it. It was a messy morning, me without make up and looking all tired because I didn’t sleep and we had no breakfast. I must look ugly at that time, but I did not care. As long as I can see him really close, looked at his eyes for a mere second... did not even remember if I even shook hands with him? I don't think so. I don’t know. My heart almost jumped from its place and I hardly can think of anything. I even forgot to hand him his presents because I was totally out of my mind and being busy all by myself. *cries. I ended up running to the last girl on the row (she was wearing skirt, I believe) and I asked her to give my gift for Soobin. I tried to look to Soobin’s table whether he accepted my gift or not, but I couldn’t find my gift among a big pile of gifts from his fans. Soon I forgot it. Yet, this message brought me back to that time. He remembered me, it matters most out of all the clutters I made, etc.

I have written messages to other players too, saying that I support them, etc. They usually just say something like thanks for supporting, I will do my best next year, etc. It seems like a defaulted answers a baseball player have to provide to be polite and nice to fans. Comparing it to the message that I get... can you understand me well and my extreme happiness because of those 3 sentences?

He is so kind. He remembers people who came to him for less than 2 minutes. I am really thankful for the spared memory he has to remember me. Hahah! That eventually erased my disappointment for not being able to take picture with him while I was in Korea. If I had to choose one, either
he wants to take picture with me but then forgot me right away, or this three-line-messages, I undoubtfully will choose the latter. It means a lot for me more than anything else, even more than the first time he accepted my friendship application on cyworld.

Since then I keep up with his news from internet and this year, I got the chance to stream the playoff games and Korean series games at the office. I saw him with his more mature feature and better baseball skills. He had been on his low point of his career this year when other people substituted him, but he came back to his top performance and even got MVP at playoff games twice. I am a proud fan. A proud Noona fan.

As a person, I really want to see him happy. When I think about him, I always pray to God that he could find someone who is sincere to him and love him not because of his money and what he is now. He deserves the love that he has been giving to the people around him. Lately I sent him a congratulatory message and I also suggests him to meet someone special who is as good as him, as kind-hearted as him, if he is not already do. I really mean it. As I told you, I don’t even want to dream of being his girlfriend or something. That is not my way of loving him and it never crossed my mind either. Soobin has taught me so many things beside his kindness that shines brightly from his smiles. He teaches me to be strong and that it is okay to be weak sometimes but to get up with determination to succeed is a must. He is a precious person, and I really wish for his lifetime happiness by finding a great girlfriend who can be someone he could lean on when he is down and later can be a wife who can provide warmth and perseverance to live his life happily~
사랑해 수비나.. 영원히 안 잊을게!^^


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