20120807

T__T Bbang... what happened?!!! T__T




I always wake up late recently and I dream weird stuffs.. Not that XXX kinda stuffs but still :((
Today I dreamed about my lovely dongsaeng Bang Yongguk. You kno Bbang, right? 
Geez, I am still sad and feeling awful after I dreamed about it. Here's the story!
So one evening he came up to my "house". 
"Noona, do you have time. Please accompany me", he said.
I saw his face and I just immediately followed him. It turned out that he took me to B.A.P dorm. I was looking around and I found only 2 workers doing something, they seemed not to care. Bbang held my hand and went straight to his room. I was like... "Hey, people will think wrong". 
"Naaaah.. manager hyungs are busy and those people were working on something", he jumped to his bed with his hands still holding my hands. We landed on a huge bed. I, of course, took some distance but Bbang did not release my hand. 
"What's happening? Why are you like this?", I asked.
"I dunno, but Noona please don't go. Just stay here with me", he answered. 
We just stayed quiet for a while, I thought he was almost fall asleep til I realize he wasn't look like he's sleeping. I tap his face lightly...
"Bbang... wake up! 어디 아프냐? (Are you sick?).
I was in panic and I called Manager Oppas. They came in a few minutes and brought Bbang to the hospital. 
"Please take care of him, we need to do something at office and picking up the rest of the band", Manager Oppa said to me. 
I was holding up my tears because I was worried sick that he won't wake up.
I sat next to him and he woke up after an hour of collapsing.
"Noona, sorry I bothered you. I didn't mean to", he said softly.
"Hey, that's ok. Now you must get well soon. Don't think about unnecessary stuffs", I wiped his forehead and he held my hand again.
"Noona...", he didn't finish his words and he just started to cry. Suddenly he grabbed his infusion and he grabbed out the needle in his right arm.
"I want to go out", he quickly said.
I pushed his shoulder to go back to sleep and in panic I called nurses but nobody was around. Bbang was quiet, so I ran to get someone to help me putting back Bbang's infusion. 
When I finally found someone, we ran together to his room and I found out that he died because of getting electrocuted by the room lamp.
Then I realized while I was gone, he turned off the lamp in his room and then took off the lamp and hold the cable with his bare hand. An attempt to suicide. 
I was crying in horror and then Mom came inside my room waking me up to help her baking cookies. 
END.
WHATDAFUCKWASTHAT?????? Baby, please don't be like this. If you're stressed out, talk to somebody. Since I can't help you, don't do stupid things. T__T I feel sad only thinking about it T__T

/Jingga